Log in

No account? Create an account


(we're everything greater than books might mean) - ee cummings

Previous Entry Share Next Entry
Onward and Upward
interp dance
I was supposed to write something else. I was supposed to write how it's the end of the decade and how things have changed, but I decided it sounded too preachy. No one should take life advice from me; I make too many mistakes and it took me too long to even come close to approximating the life I want.

If there is anything I have learned in the past ten years, it's that we should seize your chance at happiness whenever we can.
Life is too short to spend it wallowing in sadness and all the mistakes of the past.
Not to say that our hurt is not important (we do find the most valuable lessons when life brings us to our knees, after all), but it doesn't, shouldn't last forever.
We can choose sadness, and grief, and glorify our most miserable days

We can choose to be happy, choose to be thankful for all the small blessings and little victories that we forget are luxuries in other parts of the world.
There is no harm in looking back if we remember that we are always meant to move forward. After rock bottom, it's the only way I know how to go.

I believe that happiness is a choice.
Same with love.
And I believe in myself enough that I know I will choose love, laughter and happiness every time.
Marty McConnell wrote (and I agree):
I will bend toward joy until the bending's its own pleasure.

Onward and upward, friends. See you at the top :)


“Under One Small Star”

Wislawa Szymborska
My apologies to chance for calling it necessity
My apologies to necessity if I'm mistaken, after all.
Please, don't be angry, happiness, that I take you as my due.
May my dead be patient with the way my memories fade.
My apologies to time for all the world I overlook each second.
My apologies to past loves for thinking that the latest is the first.
Forgive me, distant wars, for bringing flowers home.
Forgive me, open wounds, for pricking my finger.
I apologise for my record of minuets to those who cry from the depths.
I apologise to those who wait in railway stations for being asleep today at
            five a.m.
Pardon me, hounded hope, for laughing from time to time.
Pardon me, deserts, that I don't rush to you bearing a spoonful of water.
And you, falcon, unchanging year after year, always in the same cage,
you gaze always fixed on the same point in space,
forgive me, even if it turns out you were stuffed.
My apologies to the felled tree for the table's four legs.
My apologies to great questions for small answers.
Truth, please don't pay me much attention.
Dignity please be magnanimous.
Bear with me, O mystery of existence, as I pluck the occasional thread from
            your train.
Soul, don't take offense that I've only got you now and then.
My apologies to everyone that I can't be everywhere at once.
My apologies to everyone that I can't be each woman and each man.
I know that I won't be justified as long as I live,
since I myself stand in my own way.
Don't bear me ill will, speech, that I borrow weighty words,
then labor heavily so that they may seem light.


"nobody but you"
Charles Bukowski

nobody can save you but
you will be put again and again
into nearly impossible
they will attempt again and again
through subterfuge, guise and
to make you submit, quit and/or die quietly

nobody can save you but
and it will be easy enough to fail
so very easily
but don't, don't, don't.
just watch them.
listen to them.
do you want to be like that?
a faceless, mindless, heartless
do you want to experience
death before death?

nobody can save you but
and you're worth saving.
it's a war not easily won
but if anything is worth winning then
this is it.

think about it.
think about saving your self.

  • 1

i choose happiness too

at 3pm today, RJ is arriving here. he surprised me last night by telling me. pakingshet, it's gonna be a happy new year after all, and i'm so used to being alone that the thought of being with him later just sends me to a paroxysm of anxiety. HA! but i choose happiness. so there. HAVE A HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Re: i choose happiness too

Hahahaha, fireworks?

Happy new year too. Whatever RJ's visit means, I'm just glad you're not alone.

  • 1